


To J.B | Keb

by Driwed



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Fanfiction, Gay, Love, M/M, bxb - Freeform, keb - Freeform, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 14,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Driwed/pseuds/Driwed
Summary: Kevin and Jacob have been together since as long as he could remember. He worried that they were starting to drift apart as Jacob seemed preoccupied with his other friends. Will their friendship fall apart?





	1. Brief Words

**Hi there! It's your favorite author, hopefully, coming out with another The Boyz fanfic because of lack thereof.**

**Remember, despite what i write in this ff, please love and support The Boyz! Just like your other stans, they deserve everything and more.**    
**EVERYTHING IS PURE FICTION.**

**So, read it and let me know how you feel about it!**

**Once again, everyone is the same age for convenience.**

**An** ** Indication **  
**So, I'm actually going to try something new out. I'm a lil' adventurer.**

✉️ **= a letter chapter**  
**(don't think the letters are irrelevant. they're pretty relevant.)**

**if this isn't your cup of tea, i have other stories that might be!**   
** My Bully ** **(completed)**   
** Sin ** **(completed)**   
** To Each His Own ** **(completed)**   
** Forget Me Not ** **(completed)**   
** Dawn of Love ** **(completed)**   
** Seaside ** **(completed)**   
** disillusion ** **(completed)**   
** Breathless ** **(completed)**   
** Heated Desire ** **(completed)**   
** MedicalHockeyAu ** **(completed)**   
** detraction ** **(completed)**   
** Drizzle ** **(completed)**   
** guidance ** **(completed)**   
** Dashing ** **(completed)**   
** Fancafe ** **(temporarily completed)**   
** Artist ** **(completed)**   
** Florescent Nostalgia ** **(completed)**   
** Skirt & Sister Chan ** **(oneshots)**   
** Different ** **(completed)**   
** little ** **(completed)**   
** He's Bad He's Worse **   
** Extricate **


	2. Letter #1

To J.B,

How was your day today? Well, the parts of it that I wasn't present in. I can't believe we're actually going to the same high school. I was for sure that you'd be going to Seoul's Science High School, yet here you are, going to Seoul High with me. Why did you give up such an opportunity?

-K.M


	3. Chapter

I excitedly ran over to Jacob who was waiting outside the school gate. "Hey, Kevin. Long time no see." I laughed in response to Jacob's statement. "It's only been a week since we saw each other last." Jacob gave my back a pat before walking on ahead. I hurriedly followed after him and struck up conversation again. "Do you think we're in the same homeroom? I wonder if we have any classes together?" Jacob laughed at my enthusiasm which caused me to smile.

<><><><><><>

"That sucks. We won't be in the same homeroom." "It's okay. We have a few classes and lunch together." I gave Jacob a high five as I checked the classes we had. "The bell is going to ring, so you should head over to your room." I groaned as I reluctantly got up from the seat next to him. "I'll see you in two periods, Kevin." I wanted to ask him why he chose to come here rather than Science High but the bell had rung before I could.

After two long periods of boring teacher introductions and syllabuses, third period had finally rolled around. I entered the room and saw that Jacob wasn't there yet. I sat down at one of the desks by the window and saved a seat in front of me for Jacob. After a bit, Jacob had walked in and I waved him over. "Jacob, I was wondering..." Jacob had turned his attention to me and I found myself heating up. I wasn't sure why as this never happened before.

"Why did yo-" "Hey, Jacob! You're in this class too?" Jacob had turned his attention away from me and looked at the guy who had called his name. "Oh, Jaehyun! Let me see your schedule, maybe we have more together." I was happy for Jacob making a friend so quickly, but I didn't like the fact that he had just ruined my chance to talk as the teacher was walking in. Jacob and that guy Jaehyun had taken their seats and pulled out their notebooks.

Class had ended and I tapped Jacob on the shoulder. "What is it, Kevin?" I shuffled a bit in my seat before asking yet again. "Why did yo-" "Jacob!" I quietly sighed as Jaehyun walked over to our desks. "I'm sorry, Jaehyun. My best friend here was trying to tell me something. Do you mind?" Jaehyun nodded then walked away. "Forget it." I collected my stuff and left the classroom.

I sat down at a desk and someone sat down next to me not too long after. "Hey." I looked over at who was talking to me and noticed the guy had a soft face. "Hi." "I'm Sangyeon. What's your name?" "I'm Kevin. Nice to meet you." He gave me a smile and then someone else had stopped by my desk. "And you are?" "I'm Younghoon." "I'm Kevin." The guy named Younghoon sat down behind me and no further conversation was made between the three of us.

After class ended, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "I'd like to get to know you better, Kevin. Is that okay with you?" "I feel the same way about you two." I looked back and forth between Younghoon and Sangyeon. "I guess it wouldn't hurt." They both gave me smiles and I simply gave one in return.

Another class had passed and it was finally lunch time. I took out my lunch then noticed 2 chairs pull up to my table. "That looks good." I sighed as I moved my lunch closer to me and away from Jacob. "You have your own food." Jacob pouted as he took out his own lunch then started eating. "Jacob, try some of this." I watched Jaehyun feed Jacob some of his food and I feel something stirring in my body. "Mmm, this is good. You need to tell me the recipe." Jaehyun nodded as he went back to eating his lunch.

Two more people came over to our table and sat on my left side. "Hey, Younghoon, Sangyeon." Jacob had waved at them briefly before going back to eating. "Hi, I'm Jaehyun." Younghoon and Sangyeon introduced themselves and they soon struck up conversation. "It looks like we're in good company, Kevin." I nodded as I looked at the three new faces.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! yes, i'm using first person pov. if you don't like it then i'm sorry...**


	4. Letter #2

To J.B,

I'm glad we made friends. You're usually the one with all the friends because you're so likable. It makes me sad sometimes when I can't get to have a decent conversation with you. I learned that Younghoon is homosexual. He has a boyfriend who attends another school that's nearby. Sangyeon really likes trot music. It's kind of scary how passionate he is about it. He's also asked about you when we talk sometimes. I don't see why he can't ask you. Remember, I'm always here if you need to talk.

                                                 -K.M


	5. Chapter

**~Time skip: 1 month~**

I stretched my arms up into the air as I walked to Jacob's. We always hung out on Sundays ever since we became close when we were younger. We didn't live close to each other, so I usually took the bus a few stops then walked.

I rang the door bell then waited for someone to answer the door. "Kevin! It's nice to see you again. I'm sorry that I couldn't be with you guys that day. It was important that I went." I shook my head then gave Mrs. Bae a smile. "It's fine. Work is important too." She ushered me inside and the familiar scent of vanilla coffee filled my nose. "You know where he is." I nodded then walked to the right towards Jacob's room.

"Kevin!" He gave me a hug which I happily returned. I felt fluttering in my stomach as we hugged.  _"This is new..."_  I thought quietly. I pulled away from Jacob then sat down on his bed. "So, are you going to play that new song you were working on?" "I wish I could, but I'm stuck with the last verse. Maybe I need some of Kevin's wisdom?" I laughed then asked him to show me the song. "This is a beautiful song. Is this a love song for someone?" I noticed that Jacob had become bashful at the mention of "for someone". "Who is it?" "It's not for anyone. I just wrote it, okay?" His face said otherwise, but I decided to not pry any further. I had to admit, Jacob looked really cute when he became bashful.

"Now try it." I listened to Jacob play the song with the newly added verse. Jacob was an amazing singer and when you add in the guitar, it creates something that'll have you hooked. "Woah. This verse really fits, Kevin. Thank you." "Almost anything for you." Jacob chuckled then put the guitar to the side. He sat down next to me then whipped out his phone. "Let's take some photos together." "We do this every time I come over on the weekends." Jacob seemed lost in thought then suddenly ran out of his room. He came back with quite a few objects in his arms.

"A photo shoot?" I nodded in agreement as it was something different than just plain old filter selfies. I set up the object that Jacob wanted then got into the proper position to take the photos.  _"He really is attractive. Whoever he ends up dating is going to be one lucky girl."_  I thought as I snapped the photos. "All right, your turn Kevin." As I posed for the camera, I noticed Jacob often paused before taking a photo. "Is something wrong, Jacob?" "No. Just thinking."

We looked through the photos and deleted some of the silly ones. "I really like this one of you, Jacob. You look really sexy in it." I noticed that Jacob didn't respond, so I looked over to see why. I couldn't see his face because he hung his head low. "Did I offended you? I'm s-" He suddenly looked up at me with a red face. "Oooh. I embarrassed you." I started laughing and received a few hits from Jacob. "In all seriousness, send me this photo. And these as well." "Got it."

As we were tidying up his room, his mom knocked on the door. "I don't mean to interrupt, but do you two need anything? I need to head out and meet your father. I don't know how long it'll be." "We're good. Be safe, Mom." She nodded then left. "Looks like we have the place to ourselves, eh Jacob?" "Did you really just say 'eh'?" I chuckled then closed the drawer. "Let's play some hide and seek." Jacob rolled his eyes but agreed to play. It was moments like this that made me appreciate Jacob.

<><><><><><>

I ended up being the seeker and I hated it. Jacob was an excellent hider. One time it took me over 2 hours to find him. "Jacob! You here?" I checked behind doors and look underneath furniture. I felt as if I checked the entire house looking for him. I sat down on the floor and gave up. "I give up! You can come out." I was only greeted by silence. "Jacob? I said I give up! Come out." I still only received silence. I started panicking as something bad could've happened to him.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! i hope jacob is okay**


	6. Letter #3

To J.B,

I still wonder how we came up with this idea and why we still continue to do it. I was honestly joking back then, but you seemed to have taken it seriously. I don't mind it though, this is pretty fun to do. I've read your letters from last month. Not all of them though, since the rule was one letter a day. Did you like my letters? In response to one of your questions, I did get to meet Younghoon's boyfriend recently. He's a funny guy. I'm sure you'd like him. I hope you're doing okay.

-K.M


	7. Chapter

I looked everywhere in the house that I could access and ended up empty handed.  _"Maybe he's outside. That's gotta be it."_  I thought as I made my way to their backyard. Sure enough, I spotted Jacob hiding behind a tree that grew in their backyard. "Jacob, come out. I see you." "What took you so long to find me?" Jacob looked disappointed, but not surprised. "Someone decided it would be a great idea to hide outside without letting the other person know the boundaries." Jacob only gave me a shrug then walked back into the house.

"It's getting late. I should start heading home." "Oh, I'll go with you to the bus stop." I shook my head and assured him that it wasn't necessary, but he insisted on coming along. I finally gave in and let him walk with me to the bus stop. "Jacob, why did you want to walk with me so bad?" "You what they say, safety in numbers."

I couldn't deny that fact, but it wasn't really dark out. Plus he lived in a pretty good neighborhood, so it made me more suspicious. "Were you just afraid of being left alone?" Jacob let out a snort which caused me to snicker. "You do know that when you go, I'll end up alone anyway." "Maybe you're just delaying it." I leaned against the bus stop structure as Jacob had taken the last seat.

"Do you want to sit? I can scoot over. Or you can sit on my lap." I sat on Jacob's lap then took out my phone. I checked to see how far away the bus was from where we were. I noticed Jacob had started shifting and nearly made me fall off his lap. "Jacob, stop moving so much." "S-Sorry..." I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him. I felt my face heat up at the action which hadn't bothered me before. "O-Oh, it's my bus. Bye." I immediately stood up and had my back turned to Jacob.

<><><><><><>

I looked through the photos Jacob had sent me as I lied down on my bed. I had woken up before my alarm and had time to spare _. "Aw, he looks cute in this one."_ I looked at them once more before getting ready for school. I doubled checked my hair in the mirror before heading downstairs. "Looking sharp as always." I rolled my eyes then sat down at the table. "So I heard from Mrs. Bae that you two had a mini photoshoot." "Yep. I'm guessing you want to see the pictures, Dad." I took out my phone and showed him the photos. "Goodness, Jacob is such an attractive young man. Sometimes I wish he was my son-in-law." I couldn't help but gawk at my dad. "What? I'm sure other parents feel the same way."

I saw Jacob waiting at the school gate, but he was immediately taken away by a few of his friends. I sucked my teeth as I slowly walked into school alone. It wasn't this bad back in elementary and middle school. "Why the long face?" I looked at Sangyeon who seemed a bit concerned. "Nothing. Let's just get to homeroom." I walked on ahead of Sangyeon not caring if he followed or not. I heard Younghoon call my name, so I turned around. I spotted his boyfriend waving to the both of us then walking away. "Great, another clown." "What?" I bit my bottom lip as I tried to hide myself from Sangyeon. "Young, Kev thinks of us as clowns." I felt Younghoon's piercing stare. "Well, clowns are funny, so it's a compliment." They walk ahead of me and I slowly follow behind.

I wasn't feeling as excited as I used to when third period rolled around. I happened to get to class first, so I made myself busy. "Kevin." I didn't look up from the book I was reading, mostly because I already knew who was calling my name. "Earth to Kevin. Are you ignoring me?" I kept reading and heard a sigh along with the sound of a chair moving. I slowly looked up from my book and jumped as I saw Jacob was staring at me.

"Finally. What's so great about that book? Haven't you already read it fifty million times?" "What do you want?" Jacob looked hurt by my reply and seeing it made me feel awful. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just a bit stressed." "I just wanted to apologize for this morning. They wouldn't let me go no matter what I told them." I looked at him in surprise as I had thought he didn't want to be seen with me at school anymore or something. "We can talk more after class, okay?" I nodded then watched Jacob turn around just as the teacher walked in.

Class had ended and everyone was packing up their things. I looked up and saw Younghoon in the doorway. I heard some of the girls murmuring about how attractive he is. If only they knew he was already dating someone. "Kev! Hurry up." I quickly threw my things in my bag and hurried out, completely forgetting about Jacob.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! i'm sure jacob wouldn't have mind, right..**


	8. Letters #4-6

To J.B,

 

I don't know what to write. Well, Younghoon's boyfriend can do an impressive impression. I also learned that he can sing pretty well too. But you're still #1 in my eyes. I noticed you and Sangyeon have started to hang out more. I'm glad to see my best friend and friend getting close.

                                                 -K.M

<><><><><><>

To J.B,

I've recently started to like this new band called Sh00ting St*rs. Don't ask me why they wrote it like that. Maybe you should check them out some time. I don't think I can tell you this face to face, but Sangyeon has been checking you out. I never took him for the type to be into guys. Writing that made me upset. I wonder why...

                                                 -K.M

<><><><><><>

To J.B,

Younghoon didn't look well at all this week. I wonder if something happened between him and his boyfriend. I haven't seen Jaehyun at all this week. Is he okay? I've noticed that you've started receiving gifts from the girls in the school. What do you do with all of them? How is the song coming along? You said it was for someone special, but you refuse to tell me who. I bet it's for your Mom. Well, whoever it is, they should feel lucky.

                                                 -K.M


	9. Chapter

I sat on my bed scrolling through my Instagram and liking some artsy photos here and there. My phone started ringing but it was instantly silenced by the swipe of a finger. I heard my dad yell for me to come down and I did, but not before checking my hair beforehand. "A friend is here for you. You have great taste in friends, kiddo." "Thanks." I waved to Younghoon then followed him out.

"I'm surprised you decided to hang out today. You told me you were usually busy on Sundays." I laughed then waved his statement off. "That was in the past. I just needed a change, you know?" Younghoon nodded then immediately started beaming. "Is that the love of my life that I see?" I couldn't help but chuckle at Younghoon's cheesiness. "Hey, love. Hey, Kevin." I waved to Changmin then gave him a fist bump.

"So, what are the plans for today?" "Well, I had planned a wonderful outing for the both of us, but now we have a third wheel." I watched Changmin punch Younghoon's arm then give me an apologetic look. "I'm sure we can still do them. We'll just have to factor in Kevin." "I didn't know you two had plans. I can always just leave you two alone." Changmin placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't tell Younghoon, but I wasn't really feeling a date today. So, you just saved me." Younghoon looked at the both of us and I simply shrugged.

<><><><><><>

"Woah, this tastes so good. Where did you find this place?" Younghoon gave us a smug look then explained how he stumbled upon the place. "Interesting." I looked out the window and saw Sangyeon with someone. I took a closer look and gasped when I saw that it was Jacob. "Kevin, are you okay?" "Yeah...I just saw a dog...really cute..." I looked away from the window and continued to eat. "Oh, it's Sangyeon! Let's invi-" "Let's not. He seems busy." I felt Younghoon and Changmin's eyes on me as I continued to eat. "Well, if he doesn't want to, then maybe we shouldn't, Hoonie." "Okay..."

We arrived at the arcade and eventually went our own ways. I wandered around looking for a game that interested me. I rounded a game and saw Sangyeon and Jacob at one of them. I quickly turned around and walked away. I eventually spotted a game that interested me and I started playing. I was so into the game that I didn't notice someone walk up to me. "Kevin!" I tensed up as I knew who's voice it was. "Hey...Jacob."

The game had ended, so I walked away from it and Jacob. "Kevin, wait up!" Him saying that only made me walk faster. I didn't particularly want to talk to him nor see him. I exited the arcade and ducked into a convenience store.  _"He can be so persistent..."_  I thought as I pretended to be looking for something. My phone started vibrating, but I chose to ignore it. It eventually stopped and I took that chance to call Younghoon. "Hey." "I think I'm going to go home." "What? Why?" "Something came up. Enjoy your time with Changmin." I hung up before Younghoon could ask anymore questions. I bought a bottle of water then casually looked around as I stood outside the store.

<><><><><><>

I sat down on the bus then looked out the window. I didn't really want to avoid Jacob, but it didn't feel any different than when he was pulled away by his friends. My phone started vibrating and I finally answered this time. "Hello?" "Kevin? Where did you go?" I hung up then turned my phone off. I closed my eyes as the bus ride was sort of a long one.

"Back so soon? Did he find someone more interesting?" "Yeah. Let's go with that." I walked upstairs then entered my room. I locked the door behind me then flopped onto my bed. I admit, I shouldn't have just hung up the way I did, but I just felt so upset. Guilt started eating away at me, so I turned my phone back on to call him back.  _"7 missed calls from Jacob...Wow..."_  I thought as I tapped on his number. It didn't take long for Jacob to pick up the phone. "Kevin? What happened? It kept going straight to voicemail." "I turned my phone off. I...I didn't want to be bothered by you." I noticed Jacob was quiet, too quiet. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was being annoying. Don't dislike me, please..." "I didn't mean it like that...I meant...I don't know what I meant. Just come over." "Okay...?" I hung up then groaned in frustration.

<><><><><><>

I walked downstairs then waited on the steps outside for Jacob's arrival. "Kevin!" I noticed that Jacob was practically sprinting over to my house. I watched him trip but quickly regain his balance. I walked down the steps as Jacob slowed down to a stop in front of me. "You're all sweaty." "I didn't want to waste any time with you." I felt a small fluttering in my stomach as Jacob smiled wide while trying to catch his breath. "You're weird, Jacob." "Takes one to know one." We sat down on the steps and started talking about our day.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment!**


	10. Letters #7 & 8

To J.B,

I've probably been acting like a brat these past couple of days. I apologize for that. I just don't like those girls who claim they love you and all despite not knowing anything about you. I've noticed that Jaehyun has been around some guy for a while now. I'm sure you've noticed it too. I saw that in one of your letters, you talked about that special someone being upset about something. Did you try using the song to cheer them up? I kind of wish I had a special someone.

                                                 -K.M

<><><><><><>

To J.B,

You've been looking a lot happier lately. Is it that special someone making you smile like that? I feel envious. I've made another friend, his name is Sunwoo. He acts all tough but is actually a softie. It's cute.

                                                   -K.M


	11. Chapter

**~Time skip: 2 months~**

I couldn't remember the last time Jacob and I hung out, just us two. One of us was either busy with family, school or friends. We still messaged and called each other, but it didn't really feel the same.

I rolled over as I found it hard to sleep that night. Just as I picked up my phone, I noticed that Jacob was calling me.  _"Why is he calling so late? Why is he even up?"_  I accepted the call and put the phone to my ear. It was quiet on his end, so I assumed he sleep dialed me. I went to hang up, but heard Jacob call my name. "Jacob?" "I'm sorry, I must've waken you." "Not at all. You were quiet for a while, so I thought you sleep dialed me." I heard Jacob lightly chuckle then take a breath. "I couldn't sleep." "Same here."

"I miss hanging out with you. Sure, we're in the same school and some classes, but I miss the one on one." "I know how you feel, but there isn't much we can do about it. I'm sure you would want to hang out with others." "Right..." Silence had fallen over us as I lied back on my bed in the dark. "Kevin." "Yeah?" Jacob had fallen silent again and I honestly thought he had fallen asleep on me. "I like this person, but I feel like I'm slowly losing them. I also don't know how they feel about me and their actions confuse me." I felt pain as I imagined Jacob confessing to some girl. "Well, you can always test the waters. If she reacts negatively or not at all, then it's safe to assume she doesn't share the same feelings as you."

I waited for Jacob to respond which felt like eternity. "Thank you. I can always count on Kevin's wisdom. I appreciate you." "Hey, why don't we meet up?" "First of all, its way past midnight. The creeps are out and about. Second of all, it's a school night." I sighed then looked out one of the windows in my room. "You're right. I apologize." "Let's meet in the park." I wanted to protest but Jacob had already hung up on me.

<><><><><><>

I looked around as I sat on a bench in the park. I saw a figure heading towards me at a sprinting speed. I recognized the figure as Jacob then felt myself grin. "Kevin!" He stopped in front of me and flashed me his signature smile. "Did you run here?" "I did. I was excited." "Excited? What for?" "To see you." I felt the fluttering in my stomach and heat pour into my face. "I don't know what to say..." "You don't have to say a thing."

I sat back down on the bench then Jacob laid his head on my shoulder. "I still can't believe you agreed to this." "Almost anything for you, Kevin." "You really are a best friend. Have I told you that I appreciate you?" Jacob looked lost in thought before replying. "You have in your letters. Never to my face though." I nodded then started poking his cheeks. He swatted my hands away then flicked my forehead. "Don't touch what you can't afford." "Excuse me? Since when have you've become a luxury?" "I've always been one. I'm just now voicing my worth." I rolled my eyes then sat back on the bench.

I looked at the sky that was now slowly starting to brighten. "Maybe we should head back home." "I don't want to." I rapidly blinked then looked at Jacob. He looked so peaceful, but I couldn't believe he said something like that. "You don't?" "I'm afraid. I don't want this moment to end. I don't know when we'll get to hang out again." "I'm sure we will, Jacob. And if we don't, then maybe it's time for us to end." I watched Jacob sit up then pull me into an embrace. I felt my face heat up then looked at Jacob. "Please...don't ever say that again." I noticed he looked close to tears which slowly broke my heart. "I'm sorry...I won't."

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! so soft uwu**


	12. Letter #9

To J.B,

I miss you. I want to tell you that, but I never see you around except in class. Even then it's hard. I'm glad that you still call and come see me when you can. I guess I miss the old days. I've noticed that you've started receiving more gifts from the girls. What do you honestly do with all of the stuffed toys and food? Sangyeon recently hasn't wanted much to do with me. I don't know why and it hurts, but I still have Sunwoo, Younghoon and his boyfriend, Changmin I guess. Remember when we'd always go to each other for comfort and advice? Seems like Changmin is taking that spot now. Have you gotten more attractive lately? I've started to notice and it's a bit scary. Your smiles create sparks inside me and I won't lie, that scares me too.

-K.M


	13. Chapter

Younghoon and I walked to the cafeteria then sat at a table by the window. "So, are you and Sangyeon...?" I looked at him and gave a shrug. I wasn't really sure myself. He had been hanging around Jacob like the girls in our school. At this point, I was convinced that Sangyeon liked Jacob in more than a friend way. Just thinking of that made me upset and sad at the same time. "How are things between you and Jacob?" "No better than before." "At least it's not worse than before." I sighed as I thought of Jacob. As if on cue, he sat down on my right while looking around.

"Speak of the devil. I'm surprised to see you here." "Aren't you happy? I finally got away from them all." "I would be, if lunch wasn't already over." I put away my lunch that I hardly touched and walked away. I felt something grab my arm in an attempt to stop me. "Kevin...I'm sorry. I keep telling them to leave me be but they don't seem to listen." "Then find another way. I don't know what you were expecting me to say." I'll admit, I was hurting and I could see that Jacob was too, more than me at that. I really didn't know what to do because I never really had such a problem. "Sorry, I must be holding you up." He let go of my arm then walked back to the table.

<><><><><><>

I couldn't focus as my mind only thought of Jacob. This had recently started happening and it was a bit freaky the first time around. At this point, I was convinced that I've started developing feelings for my long time best friend. The only problem was that Jacob already had feelings for someone. This sole fact was the reason I wanted to rid myself of such feelings. The bell rang and everyone started leaving the classroom. I stayed behind as I didn't feel like leaving my seat just yet. I heard someone call my name and saw Jacob waving from the doorway. He closed the door behind him then sat in front of me.

"I was for sure that you'd be swamped by people." "I left class early. Asked to excuse myself to the restroom." Things suddenly started feeling awkward as I started growing used to Jacob's absence. "Kevin, what are you thinking about?" "You." I surprised myself with my bluntness but decided to continue on anyway. "How distant we've become despite being so close. How all these girls flock around like vultures to a carcass, no offense. How other guys are always dragging you around like a rag doll. Aren't you uncomfortable? Aren't you tired of it?" I suddenly realized that Jacob had started crying. I quickly got up then wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry..."

Jacob shook his head then wiped at his eyes. "I didn't know you felt that way...I feel awful. I've been treating you like a speck of dust in the wind and never actually listened to you." "No, I just...was afraid to voice my true feelings." We hugged it out then I pulled way. However, Jacob didn't seem to want to let go. "Can we just stay like this for a bit? I've missed your warmth." "Okay." I wrapped my arms around Jacob then pulled him closer. The fluttering in my stomach intensified and my heart started beating faster.

I felt Jacob pull away then look directly in my eyes. I saw a look in his eyes that I had never seen before. I was unsure of what to do. "You really do have pretty eyes, Kevin" "You've told me before." Jacob had placed a finger on my lips then outlined them. He's done this plenty of times in the past, so I was used to it by now. However, he did something that I wasn't ready for. He kissed my cheek. I couldn't see his expression as he was already looking down at the ground.

"What was that...? You've never done that before..." He remained silent which made me even more anxious. "I don't know, Kev." "Can you look at me and say that?" He lifted up his head then said it again. The door opened and one of guys Jacob had become friends with called him over. "Are you going to go?" My tone sounded more annoyed than how I intended it to. "No. I'm busy right now, Woojin. Ask someone else." "But we-" "I said no!" The guy Woojin quickly closed the door as we were both surprised by Jacob's loud voice.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I really wanted to just be left alone with you. He wouldn't have gotten the message otherwise..." I quietly nodded then sat back down. "Kevin, have I told you how important you are to me?" "Only once. In a letter." "Well, you are. Don't ever forget that." I nodded then decided to ask about his special someone. "I thought you were over this?" "Who is it? Or at least tell me the gender." Jacob seemed reluctant to tell me anything about this person. We've always talked about our love lives, so him being secretive was unnerving. "Fine, don't tell me." "It's a guy."

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! romance at its finest...**


	14. Letters #10-12

To J.B,

I heard from Younghoon that Sangyeon confessed to you. What was your answer? I'll probably end up asking you tomorrow.

                                                    -K.M

<><><><><><>

To J.B,

For some reason, I was relieved to hear that you rejected him. However, now it makes me wonder who this guy is. I never thought you'd be into guys, so I'm still a bit surprised, you know? I just want to remind you that I'll always be accepting of you.

                                                     -K.M

<><><><><><>

To J.B,

I don't know what...

(The rest of the page was unreadable)


	15. Chapter

I saw Jacob in the doorway of our classroom, but I looked away and continued talking to Sunwoo. "Why'd you look at the-oh. If you want to go talk to him you can." "I'd rather not..." Despite what had transpired in this specific classroom last week, things hadn't changed much. Jacob hadn't been dragged around as much, but the number of girls remained the same. I didn't know why I sometimes refused to hang out with Jacob now that he had time. I guessed it was because I was bitter and used to his absence. "Well, it looks like you'll have no choice since he's walking this way." I ruffled my hair then let my face collide with the desk.

"Kevin! Are you okay?" I felt my face heat up at Jacob's concerned voice. "I'm fine..." I slowly lifted my head and saw that Jacob was squatting by my desk with a worried face. "Do you want to sit? I don't mind. I was just about to leave."  _"No! Don't leave me!"_  I thought as I looked at Sunwoo with a panicked look. "Well, if you insist..." I watched Sunwoo leave the room and so I moved to do the same. "We still have time." "No, we don't. I'm leaving. Maybe lunch or after school." I felt him grab my wrist and hold me back. "Why are you being like this? It hurts..." "We should really go..." I shook off his hold and hurried to my next class. I looked back and I was sure that even Stevie Wonder could tell that Jacob was fighting back tears.

<><><><><><>

The last classes of the day ended and I couldn't have been happier. I checked my phone to see if anything had changed and I was relieved nothing had. "You look happy." I turned to Younghoon who seemed interested in what was on my phone. "None of your business. Anyway, I should get going." "Later." I packed up my stuff then saw Sangyeon keeping Jacob in the doorway. I sighed then exited out the the back door and made my way to the entrance.

I heard two people shout my name and I wasn't sure if I wanted to turn around. I ended up doing so anyway.  _"Jacob...? Wasn't he just being held up by Sangyeon?"_  I thought as Jacob stopped in front of me. "Where are you going? You said we could talk at lunch or after school. Seeing as how you weren't around during lunch, I figured I'd wait until after school." I honestly didn't think Jacob would really follow through. I looked towards the school gate and saw Changmin looking in my direction.

"Did you want to discuss something or just talk?" "Just talk." I bit my bottom lip then sighed. "Then text me. I have plans with someone and they're currently waiting for me...Sorry." I quickly walked away and started regretting doing so. It suddenly became hard to walk and I felt nothing but pain in my chest. "You don't look okay...Are you sure you're still up for it?" "I'm fine. Honest." "Was that guy Jacob? You've talked about him, but I've never met him. I'm going to go say hi." "Wa-" Changmin had already walked away before I could protest.

I walked over to them but kept a distance from them. "Kev, come over here." "No." I could see the hurt looks on their faces , so I moved closer to them. "Kev, you've been really cold lately. What's going on?" I wasn't too keen on answering, mostly because Jacob was standing right there. "Nothing is. Now that you've met Jacob, can we go? I have to be home by dusk." "But yo-" I dragged Changmin away quickly then stopped when I figured we were far enough away.

"Jacob is driving me crazy." "Huh? Is he really annoying you that much? You two are best friends for pete's sake." I shook my head then held Changmin's shoulders. "I like Jacob. I want Jacob. But he likes someone else and it hurts knowing that and I can only watch from the sidelines as he eventually starts dating that person." "So, that's why you're being cold to him?" "I don't want to be, but I don't want get in deep and get hurt when he starts dating who he likes." Changmin moved my hands from his shoulders and held them. "Who's to say he'll date that person? Maybe the person he likes likes someone else and ends up with them and not him?" I couldn't argue as Changmin had made a good point.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! changmin laying down words of wisdom**


	16. Letter #13

To J.B,

I hope you aren't crying at night because of me. I overheard my mom talking to yours and I heard "crying" and "night". I've done nothing but hurt you recently yet you still hold on. Why? Is it because I'm that important to you? Well, knowing that makes me happy. I want to make you happy again.

-K.M


	17. Chapter

**~Time skip: 3 weeks~**

I could say for certain my feelings for Jacob had developed more and that fact didn't thrill me at all. Seeing those girls around him had made me want to snap their necks, which used to be an unusual thought. Surprisingly, I hid my emotions well as Jacob hadn't brought it up. That or Jacob had lost his touch because of how long we've been apart. "Are you listening?" I blinked at Jacob then nodded. "What did I say?" "Are you listening?" "Wrong...I was saying that if you want, do you want to hang this weekend?" "We can. It's been awhile. I'm sure your mom misses me." Jacob gave me a smile and I hid my face from his sight. "Are you unwell? Should we go to the infirmary?" "No, I'm fine. So, what are we going to do this weekend?" "It's a surprise." What actually was a surprise was the fact Jacob had said the word surprise.

<><><><><><>

Classes were finally over and I quickly faced Younghoon. "You look giddy." "Giddy, giddy up!" Younghoon gave me a weird look to which I shrugged in response. "You haven't heard the new song everyone is talking about? By The Girlz? They're a talented group." "Oh, them. What were their names?" "There's 12 of them. Do you expect me to remember?" "Yet you seem to remember little details on Jacob's face." I was sure that my face had turned tomato red as Younghoon was laughing. "Anyway, I expect you to know them all come Monday. I'll be waiting." We walked out of class and headed towards the entrance.

I watched Younghoon run over to Changmin, pick him and spin him around. I wasn't going to lie, I've always wanted to do that to my future lover.  _"I wonder if Jacob would like doing that..."_  "I would like doing what?" I jumped then turned to see Jacob. "Can you not sneak up on people?" "Sorry..." I sighed then looked at Jacob.  _"Has he become more attractive? What is he using...? His skin looks smooth..."_  I thought then reached out to touch his cheek. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch as I ran my hand over his cheek. I suddenly felt pain and drew my hand back. I looked at Jacob who seemed spooked beyond reason.

"D-Don't touch me..." "Sorry." We started walking back to his house and I never felt so nervous before. After a long travel, we arrived at his front door. He unlocked it and ushered me inside. "Your mom isn't home? She usually is." I noticed Jacob didn't respond and seemed to be in his own world. "Jaaaaaaacob!" He seemed to snap out of whatever bubble he was in and looked at me. "Do you need something? Food? Something to drink?" "Uh, a cup of water would be nice..." I watched Jacob take off for the kitchen and I suddenly got a cute idea which was to tease Jacob. I quietly walked into the kitchen then wrapped my arms around his waist. Before I could blink, I felt his elbow collide with my face and my butt met the floor. I looked up and saw Jacob crouching down next to me inspecting my face. "I'm really sorry. I didn't know...It hurts a lot doesn't it..." I quietly nodded as I gently touch my face.

I felt Jacob cup my face then kiss the area that he had hit. Naturally, I blushed at the action. I was sure Jacob had noticed as he was momentarily surprised. He had started blushing too which was really cute, but I was certain it was only out of embarrassment.  _"I really want to kiss you, but I can't..."_  I thought as I felt a few tears sting my eyes. I quickly got up and made my way back to the front door to leave. "Where are you going...?" "I can't stay..." I really hoped he wouldn't ask why. "Why?" I quietly sighed as I tried thinking up a plausible lie. "Kevin, don't go. Please..." I was surprised to hear such sadness in Jacob's voice. I wanted him to be happy, but I felt that I was causing him nothing but grief.

I walked over to Jacob then gave him a brief tight hug. "I want you to be happy, but I'm doing the opposite. Let's...not be friends anymore." "Wha-What are you saying?" "I'm sorry, Jacob." I could feel the tears in my eyes threatening to pour out, but I quickly left before Jacob could notice. I made my way down the block then glanced back.  _"I figured...he wouldn't be dumb enough to try and bring me back."_  Despite thinking that, I really wanted him to.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! these two are really struggling...**


	18. Letters #14-16

To J.B,

Things seem bleak these days. I don't even want to do calligraphy anymore.

-K.M

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

To J.B,

People seem concerned about us. They say I'm looking thinner, but I haven't been skipping meals. Are you okay? You look a little thin too. And you're not cheery either. What's wrong?

-K.M

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

To J.B,

Why am I still writing to you?

-K.M


	19. Chapter

**~Time skip: 2 years~**

It's been 2 years. 2 years since I broke off our friendship. We seemed to be doing better apart than together. I thought I'd be alright, that I'd be smitten over someone new. I wished that was the case. However, I was still hung up on Jacob, more than before. I didn't know how Jacob felt back then, and I probably wouldn't ever find out.

"Our silly tradition...I still do it. Not doing it seems strange. But I never receive his letters. Maybe I should stop." I sighed as I pushed a paper ball around with my pen. "You should stop." I stopped what I was doing and looked up at Sunwoo. "Wha..." "It's obvious Jacob doesn't want anything to do with you. And aren't you the one who broke off your friendship in the first place?" "I see your point..." The end of the month was only two days away and I already had my letters written. "I'll come over and dispose of them for you. And I'll be taking everything that has to do with your 'silly tradition'." "If that's what's best..."

I took my seat next to Sunwoo and Younghoon in the cafeteria as I usually did. "How much did he mope this time?" "Surprisingly, not a lot. I think we're making progress. Soon you'll have moved on and start looking at some girl in no time." I gave them a weak smile as I eyed Jacob sitting with a bunch of people I didn't know.  _"Are you happy now...Did I finally do something right for once...?"_  I thought then felt something wet on my cheek. "Sorry, I'm going to go to class a bit early." "Huh? Kev?" I quickly walked away as I didn't want to try and explain.

I looked out the window at the courtyard and saw quite a number of students outside. I sighed as I envied a few couples down below. "Kevin?" I immediately froze and pinched myself to make sure I wasn't hearing things. I was afraid to turn around and see that I was just imagining things. I waited for the voice to speak again, but it didn't.  _"I knew it. I must be losing my mind. Why me? Why can't I be happy_ _? Fuck..."_  I thought as I banged on the window. "Stop it or else it'll break." I immediately stopped and turned around. Standing not too far away was...

"Jacob..."

I didn't know what to say, what I could say. It had been two years. He looked more attractive at that. "Why...why now?" I sidled as Jacob had stepped closer. I found Jacob currently intimidating and I didn't know why. I felt my back hit the door, so I tried the knob.  _"Of all times door!"_  I thought as continued to try and open it. I looked up to make sure it wasn't locked and it wasn't which confused the hell out of me. "Why are you running...?" I immediately gave up and made a bee line to the door in front of the class. "Kevin!" I didn't care where I ended up, as long as Jacob wasn't there.

<><><><><><>

Classes had ended and I stuck to Younghoon like super glue. "Seriously, what is wrong with you?" "Nothing. Keep walking." I was glad that Younghoon didn't question me further as I felt I wouldn't have been able to escape. We exited the building and I immediately ran over to Changmin. "You give me more affection than Younghoon does." I could feel Younghoon glaring daggers into me, so I backed off. "Younghoon, don't look like that..." I watched Changmin pat his head and his mood did a complete 180. "You must have that magic touch." "Ah, I wish. He's basically putty in my hands and vice versa." "I envy you two..." Changmin had looked at Younghoon who had shook his head. "You know, I heard Sunwoo likes you." I looked at Younghoon in shock. "Him? That's crazy." "Don't tell him I told you. He'll have my head if you did."  _"Well, that would explain his eagerness to get rid of our little tradition..."_  I walked away from the couple and made my way home.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! oh kevin...don't be scared...**


	20. Chapter

I arrived home then remembered Sunwoo was going to come over later.  _"Should I hide everything? Maybe not..."_  I thought while looking at the pile of letters I've written. I picked them up and took them into the bathroom. I put ever last letter into the sink and turned on the water. I felt hollow as I watched them become damp and limp. I tossed them in the trash then slowly walked back to my room.

I heard my door open and I felt kind of glad to see him. "Where are the letters?" "I trashed them. Don't worry, they're unreadable." I turned my attention back to my homework then noticed arms wrap around my neck. "Did you go home first before coming here?" "Yep. Didn't want to be in that crusty uniform any longer than necessary." I stifled my laughter as I continued to work. "Since you're here, let's work on homework together." "Sounds good." I took a glance back at Sunwoo and observed what he was wearing. Black ripped jeans, an off white off the shoulder top and black combat boots. I couldn't help but admire his body and fashion sense. "Like what you see? Could be yours, but who's to really say?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to my work. However, Sunwoo seem intent on keeping me distracted. "Come on, won't you just watch me once?" "I thought you only came over to dispose of our little tradition?" I couldn't help but become amused as Sunwoo looked slightly flustered. "So you don't want me here?" "I didn't say that. I just want the truth." Sunwoo raised an eyebrow and I simply turned around in my seat. "Hey." I sighed and figured I wouldn't be able to finish anything with Sunwoo around. "What?" He turned me around in my seat then hovered over me. "Don't ignore me...I don't like it..." I couldn't deny that pouty Sunwoo was really cute.

"I won't, now back away." I wish I hadn't said that as he did something completely different. I instantly became flustered as he was now straddling me. "Sunwoo..." "Kevin, focus on me and only me..." "What are you trying to say here..." I felt Sunwoo cup my face and look straight into my eyes. "I want to be the one who has your heart." My mouth had gone dry as I didn't expect him to be direct after being so roundabout. "Forget about Jacob. Open your eyes and see that there's someone else who wants you..." "Do you like me, Sunwoo?" "Yes."

I could see the determination in his eyes and felt his nervousness and fear as he was shaking. I didn't want to hurt Sunwoo or give him a reply out of pity. "I...I don't want to hurt you. I would love to give you a chance, but my heart hasn't settled yet..." Sunwoo kissed my forehead then backed away. "Well, it could've been worse..." I sat in silence as I started examining myself and my feelings for Jacob. Did I still like him or was it all just psychological? "How about this? Let's date and if I can't get you to forget Jacob within 3 months, then we'll break up." "Sunwoo, do you really want to do that? You'll be the only one hurting in the end." "It's a risk I'm willing to take."

<><><><><><>

I hid my face as we walked down the hall and out to the courtyard. "Hey, we're here." I sat down and Sunwoo sat down next to me. I quietly ate then offered him some. "Feed me." "Now you're pushing it." He shrugged then ate the piece that I held out to him. "It's  not bad, right?" "No..." I couldn't help but blush as Sunwoo had planted a kiss on my cheek. "What did I tell you about any type of kiss!?" "To not do it in school. But we're outside." I sighed heavily as I hated the loophole. "So this is why you wanted to be outside." "Bingo." He pulled me closer then leaned his head against mine.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! ah, what a fate...**


	21. Chapter

**~Time skip: 1 month~**

It's been a while since I made that agreement with Sunwoo. I had to admit, I was really enjoying my time with him. I found myself thinking less of Jacob and more of what the hell Sunwoo was going to do next. In all realness, I was pretty glad. I might end up dating him for real.

"Kev." "Yeah?" "Come here." I plopped down onto his bed then found myself lying down on my back and looking up at him. "Can we...?" I looked at him in shock and proceeded to push him off the bed. "The hell...?" "You fucking pervert!" Sunwoo stared at me and erupted into laughter. "You thought I meant...Oh god, this this comedy gold." I gave him a confused look as I assumed that's what he meant. "I only wanted to have a make out session, but I guess you don't." I crossed my arms and pouted as he made me feel silly for my actions.

"We still can..." Sunwoo sat next to me then pulled me onto his lap. "Do you mean it?" "Yes." We instantly melted into each other as it was clear that we both wanted it. Sunwoo had started pulling away, but my body wasn't allowing that to happen. Sunwoo tickled me which caused me to stop. "God, you're one hungry boyfriend. I needed to breathe." "Sorry..." I draped my arms over his shoulders and rested my head on one of them. "You're cute, Kev...I'm glad I met you when I did." I lightly chuckled then froze as I had stopped my movement.

 _"Shit...I hope he didn't feel that..."_  I quietly sighed in relief as Sunwoo hadn't casually mentioned it. "It seems like you want more attention." "What do you mean...?" I bit my lip as Sunwoo's hand grazed over my growing tent. "Do you understand now? Or do I have to explain it again?" "I understand." I knew he was hard too as he often shifted underneath me. "I'll deal with it when I get home." "You don't want me to?" "That's not what I meant...I just don't think we should now..." Sunwoo sighed then started grinding against me. "Stop it...please..." He stopped then chuckled. "That was hot." "What? The grinding?" "No...your plea."

"Anyway, I should head on home. I'll see you tomorrow." "Yeah, yeah. Send pics!" I rolled my eyes and left his room. I bid his dad goodbye and made my way out the front door. I sat at the bus stop then took my phone out of my pocket. "Already sending me a message..." I replied back then noticed that the bus wasn't too far away. I looked back down at my phone then cooed at the picture Sunwoo had sent me of himself.

I rounded the corner then saw someone sitting on some steps.  _"Is that my home...?"_  I walked a bit closer and someone was. I wasn't too thrilled on trying to shoo away a homeless person, but they sure as hell couldn't stay there.  I froze at the bottom of the steps as I saw Jacob sitting on the steps with his head lowered and jar jam packed with paper which I assumed were letters. "Jacob...?" His head snapped up and it was clearly visible that he had been crying. "Is it true...?" I blinked at him and he seemed close to tears again. Why is he crying? Is it because of me again? But we haven't spoken since over a month ago.

"First of all, what are you doing here...? Shouldn't you have gone to one of your other friends? They know more of the gossip and rumors." "That's not what I came here for." I honestly felt confused as Jacob wasn't being direct like Sunwoo usually is. "Are you...really dating Sunwoo and breaking our tradition...?"

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! jacob's baaaaaack**


	22. Chapter

I wanted to, I really wanted to. I couldn't take Jacob being sad over me again. "We are and I am." I couldn't look at Jacob as I knew I'd start crying if I did. I started questioning myself as to why I was doing this. We've always been through thick and thin together. I won't lie and say I haven't thought about the day I broke off our friendship. I still wondered if that was the right thing to do. "So you are...I hope you're happy." It still confused me as to why he sounded sad about it.

He quietly stood up and walked away, leaving the jar behind. I thought about throwing the entire thing away, but I figured I should read a few beforehand. I picked it up and took it inside with me. I placed it on my desk and wondered if he was only hesitating this entire time. "Well, let's see..." I took one out and noticed there was only a line which read 'I miss you...'. I took out another one and it seemed like he had erased a lot. "How are you doing? I'm fine. Or am I...You have good friends, they really care about you. I turned down yet another girl who confessed. It's getting tiring..." was what it said _. "This was from a year ago...?"_ I knew at that moment what I needed to do.

I ran to the bus stop and hoped Jacob would be sitting there. He wasn't.  _"If I still know him well, he probably went there..."_  I thought as I turned around and headed towards the park. I held onto the gate as I tried catching my breath. I walked in and looked around until I spotted a slumped over figure. I knew it was Jacob as I recognized the coat he was wearing. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come to me?" "Because you broke off our friendship..." "Even still..." I felt Jacob pull me closer and I figured he had started crying again. Around others, he was a tough nut to crack, but when we're alone he was a complete crybaby.

"I don't know what to do. You were hurting when we were friends and you're hurting more now that we aren't." "Kevin..." "I thought ending our friendship would make you happy. I'm sorry..." I gently rubbed Jacob's back then pulled away. I sat down next to him then felt him rest his head on my shoulder. "Friends again...?" "Yeah...I guess..." We sat in silence and despite silence making most people uncomfortable, it was comforting to us. "I must be taking up your time, Kevin." "No, you're not. I actually need this right now." I put my arm around Jacob then sighed. "Your letters. Why am I just receiving them now? You saw that I was giving you mine." "I was afraid. Afraid that you wouldn't read them..." "Did you read mine?" "Of course! But when you said you were doing fine, I didn't want to worry you with my letters."

"But then I saw in your recent letter that you were dating Sunwoo...So I decided to just come over and confirm it and deliver the letters." "But that doesn't explain why you were crying when I found you." I waited for Jacob to respond, but he remained quiet. "I understand. You don't want to talk about it." I felt Jacob lift his head up then turned me to face him. "Kevin...I don't know how to explain it to you." I gave him a confused look then froze when he pressed his lips to mine. I knew I should've pulled away, but I didn't. I guess I didn't mind it.

Maybe I wanted this.

 ** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! but kevin, you just cheated...**


	23. Chapter

I felt Jacob pull away and we quietly stared at each other. Realization hit me as I had just kissed another guy while dating Sunwoo. "Kevin...I'm so sorry." I watched him quickly get up but I held him back. I didn't know why, but I knew I wasn't me at this moment. "Jacob. Do you...do you like me?" I heard Jacob lightly chuckle then he looked me in the eyes. "I love you, Kevin. I realized that the day you broke off our friendship..." I couldn't help but feel disgusting.

"I'll go talk to Sunwoo. I'm sorry." I watched Jacob move my hand away and leave the park. I sat there in a daze as I started re-evaluating my feelings. Was I really over Jacob or did I just cover them to please Sunwoo? I felt confused and upset.

<><><><><><>

**~Time skip: 1 week~**

I sighed then heard Younghoon let out a groan. "You've been sighing for the past five minutes and yet you won't tell me anything." I looked at Younghoon as he held a sleeping Changmin. "What happened, Kev? Why did you two break up? You seemed to be doing fine." "Younghoon. It's possible to mask your feelings, right? It's possible to psychologically make yourself think there's something when there's nothing, right?" "Well, yes..." I sighed then rested my head on the table. "Younghoon, how do you two keep your relationship going?"

"Well, it's certainly not an easy thing. There are moments when you start thinking of dating someone else or there's something about your partner that you just can't stand anymore. I think if you talk about things from time to time, it'll give the other a better view of where you're coming from. And don't ever be all talk and no action. Also, just be direct, but be respectful too." I quietly nodded as I watched Changmin cuddle closer to Younghoon. "How long have you known each other?" "Hm, I'd say since the beginning of our first year in middle school." "And when did you start dating?" "The summer before high school started. Now I'm curious..." I raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

"Why are you asking me all of this?" "Can't I get to know you both better?" "I think there's more to it than that. I may be an idiot, but I'm not slow." I noticed Changmin had woke up and looked around. "You're up. Long day, huh?" "I guess you could say that. What did I miss?" "Nothing much. We were just discussing the math homework." I quietly thanked Younghoon for not outing me. "I've been meaning to ask you, Kev. Why did you break up with Sunwoo...?" "I'd rather not talk about it." Changmin nodded then suddenly perked up. "Oh! I heard you've talked to Jacob recently. Some girl said she saw you two talking in a park somewhere."

I cursed whoever it was for being such a blabbermouth. "Are you both friends again?" "Yeah, that's how it ended up." We both looked at Younghoon who let out a sigh. "You haven't heard, Kev? People were saying Jacob had started looking unwell. You didn't notice how thin he was when you talked to him?" I thought back to our meeting and realized I hadn't. I remembered the feeling and look of his wrist and noted that it was indeed thinner than how it used to be. "He was really suffering because of you." "I think he would've suffered either way, Younghoon. But being friends seemed to cause the least amount. Speaking of Jacob, have you two spoken to him? I can't seem to do so. I've been busy."

They both shook their heads then proceeded to stand up. "We've been here long enough. Why don't we go find Jacob?" "I guess. I'll give him a call." I dialed Jacob's number and waited for him to pick up. "Weird. He always answers my calls." I tried a few more times but got the same result. "Something must be wrong." "Or. He's just busy." I didn't know what to do, since Changmin could be right.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! but you know him best, don't you kevin...?**


	24. Chapter

I looked at Changmin then back at my phone. "I'm going to see if he's home." "Get there safely." I hurried out and to the bus stop. It wasn't the one that I usually took to get to Jacob's but it would drop me off near the one that would.

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I finally arrived at Jacob's and rang the door bell. "Oh, Kevin! Did you come to visit us or Jacob? Jacob's out right now. He said he was heading to school. I'm assuming he left something." "Is that so? Thank you." I quickly went down the few steps and started heading towards the school.

I arrived at the school and wondered where could he have gone. I knew school security wasn't tight around this time, so I quietly opened the gate and snuck around to the courtyard out back. I was surprised to see someone there and more surprised to see them sleeping.  _"Who in the hell lost their common sense?"_  I thought. I didn't want to get closer but I felt that I should at least check to see if they were okay.

I walked closer and recognized the person as Jacob. I jogged over to him then gently shook his body. I froze as his arm simply slid off and hung in the air.  _"So he really did fall asleep out here..."_  I felt his neck to check for a steady pulse just in case then noticed he was slightly cold. I checked his breathing and it wasn't steady at all. I quickly put him onto my back then called my mom. "Hello?" "Dad, come to the school quick. Bring the car. Hurry." I immediately hung up then walked back to the gate of the school. I waited outside the gate for my mom then heard a sound come from behind me. "Jacob, are you conscious?" "Kevin...Am I dreaming again...?" "Huh?" "I must be...Kevin only carries me like this in my dreams..." I didn't know how to respond. I then heard my dad's horn in the distance.

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"Why didn't you tell me it concerned a person's life!?" I rubbed my arm where my dad had hit me. "I was swept up in the moment...Why'd you hit me so hard?" "Because who knows what could've happened if we got here any later." I saw Jacob's parents walk over to us and I eagerly awaited the news. "We don't know how we became blind to this." "He always put on a smile and every time we asked, he'd say he's fine..." I wanted to know how Jacob was but the adults kept on about red flags and signs. "Mrs. Bae, how's Jacob?" "He's okay now. The doctors said he wasn't eating enough and so his body wasn't getting the nutrients it needed."

I walked away from them and called Changmin. "So, was I right?" "No...He's lucky I found him. The idiot was out by himself knowing the current state he was in. It seemed as if he wanted to get sicker or die." I let my words sink in as I hoped that wasn't what Jacob actually wanted. "Well, he should thank the heavens that you cared enough to find him. I don't want to sound rude, but I'm going to anyway. How could his parents not notice these vital signs?" "I don't know. He's okay now though." "I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing. Later." He hung up and I started feeling guilty. Then I started feeling upset that Jacob let himself get this way.

"Kevin, come on. They're letting us see him." I caught up to my mom and hoped Jacob looked better than when I found him. "Jacob, you're awake!" I watched from a distance as he hugged his parents and greeted my dad.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! no words...**


	25. Chapter

**~Time skip: 2 weeks~**

I poked my head into Jacob's class and spotted him chatting with a few girls. I was about to turn around and leave when he suddenly got up and walked in my general direction. "Kevin." "Jacob" The way we just stared at each other would convince anyone that it looked like we were shooting a gay drama. "I uh, wanted to see if you wanted to hang out later." "Sure." I nodded then walked away, only to be held back by something. "Can you meet me in the courtyard during lunch?" "Suspicious, but I'll do it." Jacob had laughed and I felt a warm feeling arise inside me. Hearing his laughter after a long time had made me feel at ease.

I paced by the door leading to the courtyard then stopped as I felt a bit dizzy.  _"Why am I worried? It's just Jacob, your ex best friend who's now your friend. He just wants to talk."_  I thought then freaked out when someone tapped my shoulder. "Kevin, do you have a moment?" "Oh, Sunwoo..." I wanted to talk to Sunwoo, but Jacob had already asked. "I would love to, b-" Sunwoo had grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the courtyard. "Sunwoo, let go!" "Oh, I see." He let go of my hand and I took that chance to run back to the courtyard. "Kev, where ar-"

I looked around and saw Jacob sitting on one of the benches eating with a box next to him. "Jacob!" He looked at me and smiled. I felt as if I had just been visited by an angel. "I was worried you wouldn't come." "Of course I would." I took a piece of his food and earned a slap on the arm. "Protect your food better. All I can say." I sat back then looked up at the school building. "I'm sure you're aware that I asked you out here to talk." "I figured. What about? That's the mystery." I heard something close then noticed Jacob was facing me.

"About what happened in the park back then..." "What about it?" "I'm really sorry if I ruined your relationship with Sunwoo. Are you two...?" I shook my head then looked up at the sky momentarily. "We both knew it wasn't going to last long either way." I looked at Jacob and it looked as if someone had stolen his precious possession from him. "I can't believe I just ruined everything with my selfishness." I couldn't tell him it was okay because it wasn't, but he really looked upset over it.

"What's done is done." I patted his back then felt him rest his head on my shoulder. "I'm hopelessly in love with you...I wish I wasn't..." My heart had sunk just as quick as it had started swelling with joy. "Why do you say that?" Jacob had sighed then sat up. "Because...I've done nothing but cause trouble for you so much to the point that you broke off our friendship." I hit his head lightly then looked at him. "I only did it to keep you from hurting, idiot."

We sat in silence then I felt something on my hand. I looked and saw Jacob had placed his on top of mine. "Jacob..." "Huh?" I inched closer to him and I could see the blush rising in his cheeks. I wanted to close the gap between us, but Jacob was quicker. We easily melted into each other as if we've done it countless times. Despite having kissed Sunwoo numerous times, I had felt something this time around. Jacob pulled away and we sat there panting for air. "I couldn't resist it, Kevin...My desire for you is too strong..."

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! so, what's what kevin? gonna cop or nah**


	26. Chapter

I came home feeling like a complete mess. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the courtyard. The feeling I got when kissing him, the feeling of his soft lips. It all felt like it had happened a minute ago when it was obviously hours ago. I took out a piece of paper and started writing on it. I looked over it once, twice, thrice. I pulled out the jar I had kept and put it inside. "It's not just a silly tradition...it's  **our**  silly tradition." I felt myself smile then got the urge to call Jacob.

"I can't believe it. She really thought that?" "Yeah. I even compared the handwriting and it looked nothing like mine. Long story short, she was embarrassed in front of her friends." I felt bad for laughing, but I figured she'd know Jacob's handwriting well by now. "Ah, you know what Changmin told me?" "No." "He wouldn't tell me details but, he and Younghoon are breaking up. I don't get it." Jacob seemed surprised as well as he had gasped rather loudly. "They were so cute together." "Right? I saw them yesterday and they looked completely fine. Were they just pretending...?" "Possibly. Try talking to Changmin again. See if you can meet up." I sighed then hung up on Jacob.

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"I'm glad that you came." "Why wouldn't I? What's the problem?" I looked at Changmin who looked like he just rolled out of bed. "Well, you two are. Are you really breaking up?" "Yeah...No one said we had to be together forever." I felt sad, but I really wanted to know the reason why. "Why are you two parting...?" "We've...grown apart I guess." I could hear the uncertainty in his voice which made me start thinking it could be something else. "Look, I didn't come here to discuss me. You said you had a problem so I came to help. If it's just about this, then forget it." I held Changmin back and felt him shaking.

"We're close, Chang. You can talk to me..." I slowly let go and waited to see if he'd speak. "Younghoon...I..." It was clear in his voice that he was close to tears, so I hugged him and patted his back. "He was lip locking with someone else..." "Did you confront him?" "No...I just told him I wanted to break up. I wasn't thinking." What Changmin said felt a bit like what I did to Jacob, without the lip locking part. "Talk to Younghoon, maybe it's a misunderstanding. We both know how much he loves you." "I'll try. Thanks, Kev." I decided to go with him over to Younghoon's to hear his side.

"You saw it? It's not what you think. See, I was just waiting for you as usual and she told me she had something important to say and pulled me along. Then she suddenly kissed me and I immediately tried to pull her off of me." I felt relieved to hear that it wasn't intentional then noticed Changmin's mood had lighten a bit. "I was worried when you wouldn't answer me then suddenly told me we're breaking up. I'm real sorry, I wish I could've prevented it." "It's fine." We heard someone yell out our names and saw Jacob jogging over to us.

"Everything's okay? Just a misunderstanding?" We all nodded then watched Jacob look relieved. "We'll take our leave, it no longer concerns us." I took Jacob's hand then walked away. "Are you going home?" I looked at Jacob who seemed to be looking at something. "I don't have to. Is there something you want to do?" "Yep." Jacob had now taken the lead and I hoped he wouldn't get us arrested. Or killed.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! keb is coming back! i think**


	27. Letters #17-20

To J.B,

It feels nice to be writing to you again. I'm sure you feel the same way, right?

                                                -K.M

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To J.B,

I'm not sure what to write anymore. I usually tell you everything in person. Now that I think about it, Jaehyun's been dating someone hasn't he? Also, Younghoon and Changmin seem to be doing better than before. It makes me envious.

                                                     -K.M

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To J.B,

I should ask you out. We both want it don't we?

                                                -K.M


	28. Chapter

**~Time skip: 3 months~**

I was laughing at Younghoon's lame joke when someone nudged me. "Oh, it's you." "What's that supposed to mean, huh?" I rolled my eyes then went back to drawing. "Don't ignore me." "I swear, you sound like a mom right now." I looked at Younghoon who had started cracking up. "I'm here because we're supposed to be going out now and you're still sitting here." "Huh? Wasn't it tomorrow?" Jacob looked lost in thought then shook his head.

"Don't confuse me. You forgot didn't you? God, you're irresponsible." "Wow, that was harsh." "I don't think you can recover from that, Kev." Jacob high fived Younghoon then looked back at me. "Fine. I'll pack up and we can go, okay? Okay." "Which reminds me..." We watched Younghoon leave then I went back to packing. "Kevin." "Yeah?" Jacob hugged me from the side, preventing me from putting my bag on my back. "Jacob, uh..." "Shh. Let's just stay like this." I complied and stood there while patting his arm.

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"So you were serious about not buying me one because I forgot?" "Of course. You could've bought your own. You do have money don't you?" I looked away then started humming to distract him. "Is that Just U by The Girlz?" "Yeah. I didn't think you listened to them." "They dance very well and the vocals are amazing. The raps too." I pulled Jacob close and he looked pleased with the action. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "World domination?" "Jacob..." "I'm joking. Let's go."

I tossed my bag onto the chair and as expected, it slid off. "Genius..." "You've been snarky today...This isn't the adorable angel Jacob I know and love." Jacob looked slightly annoyed with what I had said. "So you're saying you only love that part of me? You can't love all of me?" "That's not-" "I get it. I'll just be a perfect little doll like angel for you." I honestly felt like banging my head against anything, but somehow I kept it together. "That's not what I meant. I just wanted to know what was up." "Oh. I'm just stressed. Exams, tests, us, my future, my friends, my-"

"Us? What about us?" Jacob remained quiet then looked at me with the purest face. "I don't think I'm doing well as your boyfriend..." "Nonsense. Just be you. Isn't that the reason we fell for each other slowly but surely?" Jacob nodded and I felt compelled to pat his head. "God, your hair is soft." He kissed my cheek then walked over to his bed while taking off his shirt. "I'm still here you know." "You can always step out." I sighed then stepped out of the room and waited for Jacob's signal.

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"Ice cream, a movie and a boyfriend? This is ideal." Jacob held up the spoon to my mouth and I leaned forward for a bite, but he pulled it away. "Don't tease me." "Aw, but I like teasing you." I couldn't help but laugh as his sentence had double meaning. "What's so funny?" "Just watch the movie." "Tell me." I leaned towards Jacob and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss, literally. I pulled away and smiled as Jacob seemed too stunned to say a word. He leaned against me and sat quietly for a while before becoming his usual bubbly self once more.

** a/n: ** **don't forget to vote, share and comment! it's over!!!! i planned to have a sequel for this, but only if you all really want it. it's basically the same story, but Jacob's pov. how i'm going to pull that off? I don't know nan molla**


	29. Epilogue

**an epilogue cause why not?** ❤️

**3 years later...**

"'To J.B, how have you been this week? I want to see you soon, I miss you a lot.'" Jacob giggled then put the letter back in his pocket before knocking on the door.

"Who is knocking on my-" I couldn't believe it. I pulled him into an embrace which forced him to drop the bags he was carrying. "I see that you missed me." I scoffed then pecked his cheek. "You forgot to add 'a lot'. Come in, tell me all about the trip." I picked up his bags and placed them on my desk. I noticed Jacob was looking around puzzled then looked at me. "Oh, right...You've never been in here before. Strange. It's this bed." He plopped down onto my bed and I sat down on the chair.

"And then we all ate at this really nice restaurant. Our waiter was flipping gorgeous!" I glared at him and he shrugged in return. "I'm not gonna lie, but you're still #1 in my eyes." "I'm not going to let that slide you know." "Fine. So, what did I miss?" I shrugged then turned around in the chair. "Hey, tell me..." "I think you'll live." I heard movement coming from the bed then felt arms wrap around me. "Are you really upset cause of the gorgeous thing?" "No..." "Liar." I looked downwards then felt him nuzzle my cheek. "You know I'll always choose you no matter how attractive someone else is."

I sighed then gently caressed his hand. "Promise?" "I swear on my future grave." "That's a bit much." "You wouldn't be convinced otherwise. Now, what's the gossip?" I rolled my eyes then let him in on what he missed. "And here's the real kicker." "Hm?" "He and Hak are dating." "Woah, really? He always complained how annoying and idiotic he is...The world works in mysterious ways." I nodded then thought how that phrase applied to us as well. After everything we've been through from middle school to now, one would be surprised how well we held out.

"Oh, right." "What else?" "The old couple will be celebrating 6 years this summer. I planned on throwing them a party and-" "I'll be there." I looked at him and he only smiled in return. It was things like this that made me appreciate Jacob even more. "Can we cuddle?" "Eh? But I still have work to finish...You know how strict she is." "Please?" It was hard to resist Jacob and when he made pleas, well, I already lost. I held him close as he leaned his head against my chest. "You're warm." "Well, of course. I'm not cold blooded." That answered warranted a hit on the arm from him.

"Now that I think about it, where's your roomie?" "Oh, Younghoon. You should know the answer to that." We lied in silence for a while and I became convinced that he had fallen asleep. I looked down and my guess had been correct. He looked so peaceful while asleep and it made me feel bad for wanting to get up and possibly disturbing his sleep. I kissed his forehead and held him tight. I opted to just falling asleep as well and finish my paper later.

"I love you."


End file.
